Here Am I, Send Me

 

"Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here am I; send me." Isaiah 6:8

Today, October 31, 2026, my husband, Major Gavin Thomas Gardner, retired from the United States military. I have been trying all week to find words big enough for that sentence, and I'm not sure they exist. So I'll start with the simplest ones I have: thank you, my love. Thank you for twenty-two years of service to this country, and thank you for every single one of the years with you.

Gavin was my high school sweetheart. In October 1999, the farm boy who grew up listening to his mother's nursing stories raised his right hand and enlisted in the Air Force as a medic. He spent his early years at Keesler Air Force Base helping bring brand-new babies into the world. He was standing watch at that hospital on September 11, 2001, the morning our country changed, and he deployed to the desert sands overseas in the wake of it, in support of Operation Enduring Freedom.

His career wore three uniforms: Air Force blue, Navy khaki, and the blue of the Alaska Air National Guard. He went from Air Force medic to building medical simulation training, to a direct commission as a Navy Supply Corps officer, to serving in Korea three times, to recruiting others into service, and finally to commanding the 176th Maintenance Squadron, the largest squadron in the Air National Guard. Between all of that, there were trainings and schools in more states than I can count. Everywhere he went, he led and trained others, and he got them ready to deploy. And he taught them how to be humble, kind, and modeled what it looked like to serve in and out of the uniform.

The military gave our family a life I never could have planned. We moved every few years. We learned new things and saw different places. We adventured with our kids. Most of the time we were stationed far from family, so our military friends became our family, and we became theirs. We spent our vacations traveling so our children could see more of the world and have experiences that would shape them.

Through all those moves, we tried to teach Nehemiah, Evelyn, and Lilyan what it looks like to serve and love like Jesus, to work hard every day, to give and save as good stewards, and that a home is not a place but your people. We taught them to be more attached to Jesus and to people than to stuff. Every move, we left a lot behind, but we carried the beautiful memories and the friendships with us, and those are the things that mattered.

"For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." Matthew 6:21

I think the lesson took. Gavin swore Nehemiah into the Marine Corps, and today Nehemiah serves in the same Alaska Air National Guard his dad led in. Gavin administered Evelyn's oath into the United States Navy. Lilyan earned her degree this year, and her next mission is hers to choose. And three grandsons now call him Poppop.

This is the part that is hardest for me to write.

When I was diagnosed with cancer, Gavin laid down his leadership command to lead me through it. Now that we are very aware that our time is limited, he doesn't want to be deployed or sent to trainings away from me anymore, so he is retiring.

I'll be honest: I feel guilty about the command ending. He worked so hard for it, and he was so good at it. He truly loved his people. But every time I bring it up, he tells me not to feel that way. He says God gave me to him to lead, and that is where he wants to be. I have watched this man lead hundreds of Airmen. I have never seen him lead more beautifully than he has led me.

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it." Ephesians 5:25

The Air Force asks for Integrity First, Service Before Self, and Excellence in All We Do. The Navy asks for Honor, Courage, and Commitment. For Gavin, those were never just mottos on a wall or words to memorize in training. They are etched on his heart. He is true to his word. He serves at a level I have never seen in anyone else, and he loves people the way Jesus does.

I am so incredibly proud of all he has done to serve our country, and of how he serves every person around him. In the way he serves, he looks like Jesus to me.

"For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many." Mark 10:45

Gavin is not done serving. He is just changing who he serves. His next adventure is serving customers through his own venture, selling payment processing with Freedom Payments. The company is owned and operated by veterans, and its profits are tithed back to veteran causes that work to support service members. It is the kind of mission that fits him perfectly: business that takes care of the people who served. He is going to do amazing, because he serves at a level no one else does.

In the military, a service member coming off duty isn't simply dismissed. Someone else relieves him, and the watch goes on. Gavin, you have stood your watch. You stand relieved. Our children have the watch now, and you get to stay home with me. Let this new adventure begin!

Thank you for twenty-two years of service, for every move and every mission, and for choosing me again and again. I love you more than I know how to say.

"His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord." Matthew 25:21

Blue skies and tailwinds, my love.

Allie