Inside the Mind of a Jesus Follower

  "Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here am I; send me." Isaiah 6:8 Today, October 31, 2026, my husband, Major Gavin Thomas Gardner, retired from the United States military. I have been trying all week to find words big enough for that sentence, and I'm not sure they exist. So I'll start with the simplest ones I have: thank you, my love. Thank you for twenty-two years of service to this country, and thank you for every single one of the years with you. Gavin was my high school sweetheart. In October 1999, the farm boy who grew up listening to his mother's nursing stories raised his right hand and enlisted in the Air Force as a medic. He spent his early years at Keesler Air Force Base helping bring brand-new babies into the world. He was standing watch at that hospital on September 11, 2001, the morning our country changed, and he deployed to the desert sands overseas in the wake of it, in support o...

The first Saturday of October, the cancer center where I'm treated holds a fundraiser run every year. My dad flew down, my whole family came together, and we planned to run the race I couldn't run last year. Then a big rainstorm was forecast, and the race was canceled. When the organizers sent a message about the cancellation, and the storm turned out milder than predicted, some runners sent very unhappy emails. I was disappointed too, but last year at this time I was fighting for my life while undergoing chemo treatments, was exhausted and nauseated all the time, had lost 15 lbs, and was bald. I was so sick I couldn't even imagine walking to the start line, let alone the finish line. My goal was to walk it this year. We had beautiful and special shirts made by Mel Jolley at Guided Horizons Graphics for our whole family, some from out of state, to "Rally for Allie."  But because of the people who dedicate their lives to saving lives like mine, I'll get the cha...

I've taken a long break from writing. I've been busy living this one wild and precious life, and healing from the most painful surgery of my breast cancer journey so far. For my faithful prayer warriors, here's a quick recap. June I had part one of my reconstructive surgery, an 11-hour operation using tissue from my back, because I didn't have enough fat to go the usual route. That same day I became a Lollie for the third time. My heart still aches that I couldn't be with my middle baby while she delivered her first baby like we'd planned. She went into labor as they were wheeling me back for surgery. I left the hospital three days later with four drains, barely able to walk or move. But getting to meet my new grandbaby was worth every bump of that painful ride home. July I fell twice and got an infection, and both set me back. My drains couldn't come out because the fluid levels were too high after the falls.  Three weeks after surgery, I started a new job ...

Praise God! My first post-treatment scans were clean. The CT scan was performed to look for evidence of cancer, and there was nothing large enough to detect. This is especially encouraging because I was unable to complete my entire chemotherapy regimen and have several risk factors that place me at a higher risk for both recurrence and metastatic disease. God heals. Just as Jesus healed the sick, the lame, and the blind throughout Scripture, I believe He has touched my body and continues to sustain me through this journey. There are so many signs of healing and restoration that I am grateful for. My hair is growing back soft, thick, and curly, and I have been enjoying the new pixie style. I get lots of compliments on it! I have gained weight back, my appetite has returned, and my white blood cell count is continuing to improve. It is not quite back to normal yet, but it is moving in the right direction. I am walking regularly, doing some light weightlifting, enjoying time on the boat w...

  The sun is shining on the Gulf Coast and I  am getting some energy back and taking longer walks through the week. I don’t need a few hour long naps to get through the day anymore, just short catnaps or moments of rest. We are enjoying boating time with our family and just feeling the sunshine every day.  M y hair is coming in thick and soft. Gavin keeps me laughing through all of this. He said he married a blonde, but chemo is turning me into a darker brunette… with a little silver fox mixed in. 😂 Chemo can actually change the color of your hair, so we’ll see what it ends up being on the other side of this!  Overall, we are doing pretty well, but the past three weeks have had a few setbacks. My chest cavity started filling with fluid, and the left capsule they built to hold the tissue expander collapsed. That has meant going in four times now to have the fluid drained with a very large and scary looking needle and syringe, but is is placed in an area that has no f...

 Why I Didn't Ring the Bell Walking into the radiation oncologist's office today marked the end of my daily radiation treatments. I was met with big smiles and congratulations from every staff member I passed in the building. As I lay down on the table for the 30th time, I felt the emotions bubble up, as a few tears escaped down my cheek. These past six weeks, I have dealt with fear, deflation of tissue expanders, nerve pain, burns, and blisters on the inside and outside of my skin, and the loss of a good friend, which halted treatment for a few days so I could attend his funeral. My care team has been supportive every step of the way. I could not have asked for more compassion and attentiveness. I cannot thank them enough for the way they love people so well in such a challenging area of medicine. Last day of radiation...glowing and hair is growing The team asked if I was going to ring the bell to signify this monumental and emotional victory in cancer treatment. The ringing o...