Inside the Mind of a Jesus Follower

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March Madness in Cancer

The sun is shining on the Gulf Coast and I am getting some energy back and taking longer walks through the week. I don’t need a few hour long naps to get through the day anymore, just short catnaps or moments of rest. We are enjoying boating time with our family and just feeling the sunshine every day. M y hair is coming in thick and soft. Gavin keeps me laughing through all of this. He said he married a blonde, but chemo is turning me into a darker brunette… with a little silver fox mixed in. 😂 Chemo can actually change the color of your hair, so we’ll see what it ends up being on the other side of this! Overall, we are doing pretty well, but the past three weeks have had a few setbacks. My chest cavity started filling with fluid, and the left capsule they built to hold the tissue expander collapsed. That has meant going in four times now to have the fluid drained with a very large and scary looking needle and syringe, but is is placed in an area that has no f...

Why I Didn't Ring the Bell

Why I Didn't Ring the Bell Walking into the radiation oncologist's office today marked the end of my daily radiation treatments. I was met with big smiles and congratulations from every staff member I passed in the building. As I lay down on the table for the 30th time, I felt the emotions bubble up, as a few tears escaped down my cheek. These past six weeks, I have dealt with fear, deflation of tissue expanders, nerve pain, burns, and blisters on the inside and outside of my skin, and the loss of a good friend, which halted treatment for a few days so I could attend his funeral. My care team has been supportive every step of the way. I could not have asked for more compassion and attentiveness. I cannot thank them enough for the way they love people so well in such a challenging area of medicine. Last day of radiation...glowing and hair is growing The team asked if I was going to ring the bell to signify this monumental and emotional victory in cancer treatment. The ringing o...

How Do We Say Goodbye?

How do you say goodbye to a spirit bigger than most, and loved by all? By remembering what he did and who he was. He wrestled. He was a man who pinned opponents to the mat with power, strength, and fire, yet always ended with a handshake, eyes steady, dignity intact. He rode. A man who rode bulls for a living, chasing dust and danger, his raw talent and fierce determination recognized long before the buckles came. He lived. He was a man who lived with integrity, stood up for others with the heart of a hero and felt the power of the Holy Spirit when he gave his life to Jesus. He loved. He was a man who loved his son and his family with a passion second only to the love of our Savior. He was a friend who simply showed up every time he said he would and even when you didn’t ask him to. A man who gave his whole heart, his time, and his hugs to those lucky enough to love him. So how do we say goodbye? We wrestle. W...

Radiation: Glow Party

I began radiation after four trips to the radiation oncologist's office and two visits with the reconstructive surgeon. I had to completely drain the left (healthy) tissue expander, so it will have to go through the expansion process again. After the expander was drained, the radiation oncologist tried mapping my chest with the machines. Then he came over and asked, "Do these have metal in them?” "Yes. That's how they use a magnet to find the port to fill them, or at least that's what I was told,” I replied. “I cannot do radiation with metal nearby because the beams can hit the metal, scatter, and we cannot control where it goes,” the doctor said softly. I took a deep breath, trying to process. “So I need to remove both expanders in order for you to do radiation?” “Yes. I’m so sorry. Did they (the original team from out of state) not tell you this could be a concern?” “No. That team works closely with the reconstructive surgeon, and this is their standard procedur...