His Grace Is Sufficient Today

Thank you does not even begin to cover the gratitude I feel in my heart and spirit for all the prayers that have been offered for my family and me. The journey we are on is one I would not wish on anyone. It is humbling, painful, and so overwhelming sometimes that I can do nothing but cry. However, I learned this week that tears released in sorrow are actually filled with cortisol, the stress hormone. Tears allow us to release our pain and stress in a way that God intended to help us. So, I am going to let them fall when they need to. 

Chemo therapy has begun with new drugs, one of which is nicknamed "The Red Devil." It is called this because it is not only red, but it has intense and serious side effects. However, I refuse to call it this and have renamed it "The Blood of Jesus," because I know Jesus is healing me from the inside.

The new team is wonderful, and I am so grateful to them already. The doctor provided me with three different anti-nausea meds that were meant to last days in IV format and a relaxant before administering the chemotherapy combination. The nurse, Jenny, was fabulous and kind. She was so compassionate and really made me feel cared for during the whole process. I asked how we could pray for her, and in that one little moment of connection, we became quick prayer warriors for one another.

My doctor called me over the weekend to check in on me. I told her the nausea was really wreaking havoc on my body. Ice chips, prescription anti-nausea meds, and old school popsicles were all I was able to handle the past few days. She said she will call me again on Monday to see if I want to come in for some IV fluids and IV anti-nausea meds. Knowing the symptoms get progressively worse with each treatment, I am hoping we can find a solution to help me over the intense nausea period. Smells, tastes, thoughts of food, or any movement sent me into a spiral of dry heaving or curled up in a ball on the floor as tears and prayers flowed. I could not write, read, or watch TV to distract myself, and for the first time, I missed an event for one of our kids. Lilyan had a choir event for college, and I was in no shape to travel, which made me feel worse. 

Feeling sick and weak has been so challenging physically, but also mentally and emotionally, but a good friend reminded me of the truth behind weakness found in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

This week, I am going to remind myself of the truth in this verse. First, My grace is sufficient, is written in the present tense. It shows me that Jesus is working in all of our lives today, not just in the time when Paul wrote this letter to the Corinthians. His power comes through when we are at our weakest, and the power of prayer and love was evident this week as people all over the country were calling out to the Great Physician for me. I can boast in the power of the Holy Spirit for giving me the strength to keep moving forward, providing me with the discernment around the quality of life, and the contentment I need to follow Jesus even in this season of beautiful hardship.

Thank you all for the prayers. Please keep them coming, for they are heard and received.