What a BALDLY Beautiful Day!

Today is a day of goodness and joy, not of despondency and fear. A day when I was blessed to wake up next to my best friend of thirty years, in a home that God has helped us build, filled with love and hope. A day to be thankful for all the ways our compassionate Father shows His faithfulness, and another opportunity for His love to transform and deepen my relationship with Jesus. 

Going bald is a side effect of chemotherapy, and it is one I kept pushing down the road on this breast cancer journey as much as I could. The hair has been falling out for weeks, and the loss intensified after the third chemotherapy round. The handfuls of hair coming out in the shower were scary at first, and then as the nausea grew worse with the medicine, the more overwhelming it felt. Gavin had to comb and remove as much as he could on days I was really nauseated while I kept my eyes shut. However,  something I never knew was the actual pain involved when the hair follicles are dying, and the weight and tension of the strands of hair are pulling on them. It itched, stung, and felt like I had a sunburn repeatedly being scratched. Last night, I could barely sleep because every time I moved my head, the follicles seemed to come alive with a stinging sensation.  

So, in the middle of the night, as I tossed and turned (gingerly), I began to pray. I told Jesus my fears, I cried tears of release, and I asked Him to help me take this next step I knew was needed. I made an appointment with Brewed Barber Shop, a local barber shop in Ocean Springs, as my husband and son really liked their establishment. Then I asked Jesus to help remind me of what I know to be true about who I am. (See below for what He revealed through the Holy Spirit)

Even though getting my "chemo haircut" was an emotional moment, God’s grace was there for me. He placed me in the chair of an amazing woman, Samantha Scott, who went above and beyond to make me feel loved and cared for. She welcomed me with beautifully designed donuts, spoke to me woman-to-woman, and somehow knew how to help me feel both in control and at peace enough to let go. In that chair, through her compassion, I could feel God’s presence reminding me that even in the hard moments, He provides comfort through His people. 

Together, with Gavin by my side, we clipped away the hair and any false definition of who I allowed the world to tell me I am.  The tears flowed, the hair fell, and the laughter bubbled up to the surface. Samantha allowed me to pray over her and her four children, her health needs, and her beautiful spirit. The joy of the moment was not stolen away by the enemy's lies, and I realized how beautiful it is that I get to walk this journey. 

The kindness did not stop there, as the  Brewed Barber Shop covered the cost and did not let us pay. This shop will forever be our home for all hair-related business, thanks to their humanity, customer care, not just service, and their willingness to step into challenging moments with grace and love. Who I am is not defined by my hair or my appearance, and I can still BALDLY rock the red glasses and red lip because I am blessed every day by the blood of Christ poured out for me. 

So on this day, "I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well." Psalm 139:14 

WHO I AM

I am a child of God, saved by grace, and alive in Christ.

• John 1:12 (NIV) — “Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.”
• Ephesians 2:8 9 (NIV) — “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.”
• Galatians 2:20 (NIV) — “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

I am loved beyond measure. I know this truth to be evident in Jesus' amazing presence throughout this journey, in my wonderful family, and in the endless messages of hope and prayers from friends, strangers, and neighbors. 

• Ephesians 3:17–19 (NIV) — “And I pray that you... may have power... to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”
• Romans 8:38–39 (NIV) — “For I am convinced that neither death nor life... nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
• 1 John 4:9 10 (NIV) — “This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.”

I am God's handiwork, created with a purpose to bring others to know the love and peace of Jesus.

• Ephesians 2:10 (NIV) — “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
• Matthew 5:16 (NIV) — “Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in Heaven.
• Matthew 28:19 20 (NIV) — “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations... teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

I am fully healed by His stripes, no matter if the healing manifests on this side of Heaven or not. 

• Isaiah 53:5 (NIV) — “But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.”
• Psalm 103:2–3 (NIV) — “Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits—who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases.”
• 2 Corinthians 4:16–18 (NIV) — “Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day... So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.”

I am fearfully and wonderfully made. 

• Psalm 139:13–14 (NIV) — “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
• Genesis 1:27 (NIV) — “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”
• Isaiah 64:8 (NIV) — “Yet you, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.”