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How Do We Say Goodbye?

How do you say goodbye to a spirit bigger than most, and loved by all? By remembering what he did and who he was. He wrestled. He was a man who pinned opponents to the mat with power, strength, and fire, yet always ended with a handshake, eyes steady, dignity intact. He rode. A man who rode bulls for a living, chasing dust and danger, his raw talent and fierce determination recognized long before the buckles came. He lived. He was a man who lived with integrity, stood up for others with the heart of a hero and felt the power of the Holy Spirit when he gave his life to Jesus. He loved. He was a man who loved his son and his family with a passion second only to the love of our Savior. He was a friend who simply showed up every time he said he would and even when you didn’t ask him to. A man who gave his whole heart, his time, and his hugs to those lucky enough to love him. So how do we say goodbye? We wrestle. W...

Held by Jesus When the Treatment Ends

Today is one full of emotions as we navigate the next steps in cancer care. We went in for my weekly chemotherapy appointment today and chatted with my fellow pink sisters in the waiting room. It is amazing how connected you become when you are trudging through the same dark valley and realize those sweet shared stories are the light that keeps you going some days. When I was called back, one of my phenomenal nurses, Jenny, accessed my port and shared the good news of her recent engagement and Christmas plans. My other nurse, Lucy, came over to say hi and see how I was doing. These two women are truly some of the most amazing humans I have ever met. They serve in a tough area of care and never make you feel like they have been hardened. Their compassion, expertise, and skill in caring for their patients clearly show the love of Jesus in one of the seemingly most bleak areas of healthcare. No one wants to be there, but I appreciated that each week I would get to see these two beautiful ...

I WANT MY LIFE BACK!

"I WANT MY LIFE BACK!" I have cried out these words many times from the depths of my being throughout this disease. Each setback pushes the finish line farther away—the day when doctors' visits, poking needles, toxic drugs, and painful surgeries are finally behind me. Cancer doesn't just destroy cells and organs; it invades every part of your life and spills into the lives of those who love you most. This week, that truth tore out of me in sheer exhaustion. We went in for my first radiation appointment. It was supposed to include the creation of a mold to hold my body still, three tattoos (which we'll call "party dots"), and a scan to map out my radiation dosage and treatment plan. But instead of moving forward, we hit another snag—another delay in the care plan. The tissue expander (aka torture device) on the left side was blocking one of the beam angles needed to target the right-side cancer cells. Because of this, the radiation oncologist explained th...

Inside the Mind of a Jesus Follower

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